Hello friends, today I'm giving you the 10 perfect tips for texting with a girl. So if you can follow these tips properly, definitely you can get her attention.
Introduction
She gave you her number.
Now, you’re just a few short text messages away from a date with an
awesome girl.
Sounds easy, right? Well, not so much…
Texting is one of the absolutely vital skills to your success with women.
It can make your dating life a WHOLE lot easier. It CAN be a super fun
way to stay in contact with a girl, build rapport and interest with her,
and set up a date.
BUT, most guys never crack the “texting” code. Texting becomes a
thorn in their side.
And I know, because for a while, I couldn’t figure “texting” out.
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why girls didn’t respond, or,
when they did, why the conversations would fizzle out.
I’d meet girls, make amazing connections, get their number, and
then…
…nothing.
It sucked.
I had enough. It was time to “crack” the code.
Through years of trial and error, and tons of embarrassing texts, I
figured it out. In this guide, I lay out the basic rules for texting girls
you like—so you can get transform numbers into dates, without going
through all the embarrassment and failures.
Tip 1 : The Two Objectives
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
Most men text girls without knowing what their objectives are—and
often, they don’t even have any objectives at all.
They keep texting her, fishing around and hoping to set up a date. And
then they’re surprised when she stops responding, or is “always busy”
when they ask to hang out.
Here’s the thing: you can’t keep texting girls and fishing around
hoping to set up a date.
You’ll end up sending her tons of lame stuff that will leave her
thinking, “What the hell is this guy doing?”
You need to have direction…or else, you’ll have endless conversations
that lead to nowhere.
There are only two objectives you should have when texting a girl:
1. Build rapport and comfort, or
2. Set up a date/meetup
Simple as that.
Every text message should get you closer to your objective. If it
doesn’t, you’re wasting your time and hers.
Tip 2 : The (Two) “First Texts”
So technically, there are two “first texts” you should send after you
meet a girl. The technical first text is more of a preliminary message,
just to spread some positive vibes and remind her of your name.
You should send this text either immediately after you meet her, or
within a few hours. Here’s the structure:
If you meet her at a bar/club/nighttime venue:
“Hey [name], get home safe. -[Your name]
If you meet her any other time:
-Hey [name], fun meeting you. -[Your name]
This way, she can save your number in her phone, so you don’t seem
like some random guy.
When you text her the next day, you should jog her memory of who
you are, and induce some of the emotions of your initial interaction.
This reminds her of why she gave you her number in the first place.
Here’s an example from a text exchange that led to a date, starting
from the first message:
Me: Hey [name], almost had a nervous breakdown today.
Overwhelmed with self-consciousness over my abundance of
plaid shirts.
Her: I literally just laughed out loud at my work.
Me: I can’t be held responsible for your valley girl laughing
antics.
Her: Hahaha stop! I’m laughing, it’s inappropriate. What are
u up to ?
For some context, I met this girl the night before. During our
interaction, she teased me about my plaid button-down shirt and I
teased her about sounding like a valley girl. So, I made a few funny
statements based on those topics. She responded well.
You can craft a text like this easily, too.
Just think of something from your conversation, or the environment,
and make a slightly sarcastic statement about it. This kind of text is
much better than the generic, boring texts that guys usually send.
Here are some other “first text” examples:
-“Hey [name], you inspired me to try the Taco Bell breakfast this
morning. It was out of this world, and I don’t even believe in aliens.”
-“Hey [name], hips are still sore from all that salsa dancing. You need
to go easy on me next time!”
Tip 3 : Text Her within 24 Hours
Forget all that BS about waiting a few days to text her. It doesn’t work.
If a girl is into you, she WANTS to hear from you. And if you wait a few
days to text her, it’s only going to hurt her attraction for you…or, even
worse, she’ll completely forget about you.
If she was excited about you when you met her, text her to set up the
date the next day, or even that day if you met her in the afternoon or
morning.
When you text her within 24 hours, the emotions are still fresh in her
mind…and it’s MUCH easier to arrange a meet up.
Tip 4 : Use Her Name
A person’s name is the most beautiful thing they can hear. Use this to
your advantage.
In the first text of a new conversation, you should always use a girl’s
name. This causes a mental “click” that reassures her that you’re
talking to her.
It feels more personal and she’s more likely to respond positively.
Tip 5 : Use Proper Grammar and Punctuation
She shouldn't feel like she’s texting a 5-year-old. Well-written texts
signal that your intelligent and mature—while sloppy texts signal the
opposite, and can sometimes be a deal-breaker.
Avoid saying “u” instead of “you,” “c” instead of “see,” etc. You get the
point.
Punctuation is also important. It can completely change the meaning
behind a message, as well as better convey your personality.
Through the use of exclamation points and emoticons, you can convey
the right emotions and progress things more rapidly.
And emotions are crucial when it comes to texting.
Here’s an example of a text message with and without
punctuation:
Hey Laura, hope you had a great week. Just warning you though,
my weekend can totally beat up yours.
This sound a little too serious and almost confrontational. Compare it
to this:
Hey Laura, hope you had a great week! Just warning you though,
my weekend can totally beat up yours :p
This is more playful, and sets the tone for a fun conversation.
Tip 6 : The Question/Statement Balance
As a general rule, statements are more powerful than questions when
you’re talking to women. Think of the way you talk to your friends—
you don’t bombard them with questions, right?
When you’re texting, you should use mostly statements, and sprinkle
in a few questions.
When you do ask a question, make sure that:
-It aligns with your objective
-It’s preceded or followed by a relevant statement.
-You’re not being fluffy and pussyfooting around
You’d never ask questions like, “Did you have fun last night?” or
“How’s your day going?” because these questions don’t build rapport
or get you closer to meeting up with her. They’re just needy and
boring.
Nor would you ask “Is today a good day to hang out?” because this is
pussyfooting fluff.
Instead, here are some examples of how you would do it:
“Hey August, just watched a reality show about underground arm
wrestling leagues. Your arm wrestling career got off to a rough start
last night, but I still feel like, with some work, I could make you a
star. You in? ” [builds rapport]
“Been practicing my Backstreet Boys karaoke :p. Can’t wait to
dominate the stage with you. What’s your week look like?” [leads
towards a meetup]
Tip 7 : Always Add Value
Avoid meaningless texts like “lol” and “haha”, as well as mundane
questions like the ones we just mentioned.
Your text should always add value to her day.
This value is created by making sure your text aligns with your
objectives. When it does, there will be an obvious reason as to why
you’re texting her—and you won’t seem like you’re just bored and
trying to pass the time with pointless conversation.
A “value” text will have one or more of the following traits:
-Makes her laugh
-Relates to her
-Fun and flirty
-Sets up a date/meetup
If it doesn’t do one of those four things, then don’t send it.
Tip 8 : Keep it Short
You’re not Will Shakespeare trying to write a love letter here. You
don’t need to engage in long, in-depth text conversations.
The longer you text her, the harder it is to transition into a real-world
meet up.
You should aim to go for the meet up/date within 3-10 text messages.
Any longer than that, and you risk killing the tension and getting
misunderstood.
Tip 9 : Set Up the Date
There’s two different ways you can set up the date. It will depend on
how responsive the girl is to your previous texts.
If she’s responsive and the text conversation flows, she’s already
interested in hanging out with you. You can be more casual with this
text, but still lead and set the logistics. The key is to suggest a plan,
and give her two different time options. For example:
“Let’s grab a drink this week. There’s a bar on Comm Ave with $4
margarita specials. What works better for you, Tuesday or Thursday
night?”
This is a little trick I learned from my days as a door-to-door salesman.
The time option shifts her thinking. Instead of a “Yes, I want to hang
with this guy,” or a, “No, I don’t want to see him,” she’s thinking about
which time works best. This text signals that you assume the date is
happening. If one of the time options doesn’t work, she’ll usually
suggest a time herself.
But if she’s a little cold to your texts, then you need to push the
envelope a bit. Whenever you are about to give up on a girl, and
basically think there’s no chance she’s going to talk to or hang out with
you, you have to lay it all on the line.
How do you do that? Well, the text I’m about to give you has gotten my
friends and I more dates than I can count. But, I recommend only
using it if it’s congruent with how you really feel about the girl. Here it
is:
Hey girl. I’m going to cut the BS. You’re one of the sexiest girls I’ve
met in [City Name] and we should get together soon and either get a
drink, or rob a bank. Whatever you’re in the mood for.
The point is, don’t ever leave anything on the table. That rule can
apply with really everything in life, but especially with girls. This way
you’ll never regret not taking that extra chance.
Tip 10 : Control Yourself
It’s important to control yourself and stay positive, even if the text
conversation isn’t going the way you want it to.
Guys have a tendency to get upset in these situations, and sometimes
even blame it on the girl. But this will lead you nowhere.
Sometimes a girl won’t text you back for a day or two—but she can still
be interested.
Take one of the most awesome girls I’ve dated as an example. When
we first met, and were exchanging texts, she’d sometimes take over 24
hours to respond.
I’d answer, and then she’d respond again in another 15 hours.
Instead of whining or getting accusatory, I didn’t let it phase me. I was
nonchalant. And we ended up hanging out and then dating for a few
months.
Remember this: When a girl doesn't text back, don’t panic. It's not the
end of the world, and it doesn't mean you've lost her for good.
It just means she hasn't gotten back to you yet.
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